Toma Mi Corazon 18yrs in Austin

Here is my donation con carino to my Beloved Austin La Pena Gallery. Gracias to Cynthia for all she does to preserve and promote Latino art! It is the 18th year of Toma Mi Corazon Art Exhibit and Silent Auction Fundraiser, Saturday, February 6, 2010. If you are in Tejas check out the event and the gallery.   http://www.lapena-austin.org/english/events/tomaxviii.html
Buena suerte for a great event!

let it go

As Venus enters Aquarius and forms significant angles with Saturn and Mars; the planets are aligned for love and romance. So maybe that’s the reason for what is going on lately as a side note rerun in my life. My spirit is struggling and I need to examine a pattern that is surfacing and maybe I just need to rant as part of my cleansing. I’m trying to understand but I keep coming up with the same answer so maybe it’s not me. I always try to consider myself first in situations as any good Aspie would do. Note: "Aspie" a term of endearment used to refer to my Asperger's Syndrome aka high functioning autism aka non neruotypical aka, you get the picture.

My understanding is that when a relationship ends in a break up that means its over. It is no longer working; broken. There is a reason you are no longer together. You get together because of circumstance, interest, sharing lessons to be learned and so on. Then when the experiences have brought you all you can learn its time to move on, well that’s how it was for me. Always with the call of the wolf to move on even in the beginning but when it’s done it’s done. I am not one to go back on my journey. I sometimes look back over my shoulder recheck the lessons heal the hurt, celebrate the good, and move on to learn again.


For some reason a few of the people from my past (hereafter known as they) would like me to answer their expectation that I somehow owe them something years later. I get its not about me it’s about them but after so many times a girl has just gotta let out a rant. So here goes…I don’t get how they think they have an impact or say in my life choices and decisions today. How dare I try to move on in a positive way with my life and not consult them on how that should be done. How I am supposed to submit for approval any art I create or training I do because they somehow feel ownership. I don’t get how according to their way of thinking I am supposed to not do, say, wear, live or enjoy anything that might have in any way what so ever been a part of one of my past relationships part of me and who I am. They somehow perceive some items, discussions, or ideas as belonging to them and I had no clue. How those things shared at one time were somehow forever marked and I should put away my life and choices because they feel it or I somehow belong to them. I don’t think you really know me now anyway because I am ever changing and not the same as when we first met. Its only your illusion of who you think I should be or imagined me to be that you still cling to.

The reality is we do not own people and shared experiences of our past are just that, shared and we each get to keep our own. They help to shape who we are today good or bad it just is what happened. As an Aspie I am challenged in conventional ways of social communication but I do try to make things clear. And I’m not saying I didn’t share some good experiences of joy and love with others and I honor those memories (in my own way not how you think I should) but it’s over, it’s been over. We parted ways and it really is done.

In some cases we are friends because they have chosen as I have to respect boundaries. In other cases I don’t think they have a clue what a boundary is so we are not friends. When you speak harshly about me in community, use hurtful words in writing and make assumptions about me and my life you are not in a place of love, don’t fool yourself. You are still lost in your own pain or anger to see clearly. My words to you are let go and move on you are not in a place to befriend me. I wish you well.


As for me I have come to rest in the wolfs cry and am in the most peaceful loving respectful place I have ever been in my life. I wish you clear paths and thanks for allowing me to let it go.

ice and snow

 Ice waterfalls along TN highways

Snow covered roads in the mountains.

Light Your New Year's Fire!

Cheers to a New Year!

Another chance to do it all again maybe even better this time.

An opportunity to pause and look through new eyes, listen with open hearts, forgive, and withhold judgement. Accept others. They will show you who they are; just clear your intentions and see them. They are not always who you think they are, keep looking.

 Its time to trust and love yourself unconditionally. Forgive yourself and nurture your Spirit. Dare to push yourself to reach beyond what you think you can do. Look outside yourself and what you think you want, trust the Universe to deliver what you need. Dancing on the skinny branches can be scary but great fun especially if you have a Beloved to dance with you!

Walk the path that is meant for you even if it means sometimes you walk alone. Know that God/Spirit/Light, the Angels, Guides, Guardians, and Ancestors are always walking with you. And as you walk keep an open heart, you may be suprised to see that you have a Beloved walking beside you. Let go and see what happens.

Salud a todos! My prayer is for Good Health, Creativity, Peace, Wisdom, Dancing, Play and Laughter. Learning to Trust the Universe and listen to the lessons.  I pray for a path on the Good Red Road that leads to beautiful tomorrows. Dreams that do their best to come true (reminder: get out of your own way). And Love that never ends.

Time to give thanks for all that we have and all the experiences that are ahead of us. And time to Appreciate all the wonderful things about each one of you. Gracis  tlazocamati

Feliz Ano ~Nuevo

snowflake spiral dance

We woke up to silent gently falling snow.

The snowflakes did a spiral dance as they fell from the sky.

I took a walk to hear the magic in the trees.

Unique snowflakes kissed my hair and eyelashes.

As they fell onto my hands the silent crystals merged with my skin

and as they did I could feel them finding their way into my soul.

Mother Earth provides opportunities to see with different eyes in the winter.

Winter is the season of survival and waiting.

When all is at rest and prepares to renew itself in the spring.

Rest your Spirit. Renew your dreams in a spiral dance.

And make ready to give thanks for the gifts winter brings.

Feliz Dia de los Muertos! Day two of the celebration

The celebration continues today with the honoring of the adults. Yesterday was for honoring the children and I shared about going to the cemetery. Many times there is a central place where you can celebrate with friends and family or created family. Now in most cities in the US you really cant have a party at the cemetery (there are some exceptions in some towns in the SW) so we have the celebration at someones house, a church, community center, or other gathering place.

Then its time to build the altar or offrenda. Now here is another place that I see people get a little uncomfortable with the idea of this celebration. I like to say that we all carry our own backpack of experiences, we get one when we arrive. Then as we grow in life people add things to it, we add our experiences and it just grows. But here's the thing, we see life through that lens of understanding and sometimes through our ethnocentrism we think everyone would be better if they lived life as we do. Now I'm not dissing anyones way of living, we all have to make those decisions for ourselves, its just that when we start trying to impose our way on others that becomes a real problem. So what I am asking is that you try on, you know like you try on shoes, well just try on the idea that there are other ways of doing things...you know like folding the towels. That said if your backpack says that an altar is to sacrifice something or to worship then get ready to expand your definition of the idea.

Altar built for community gathering at Unitarian Universalist Church of Little Rock

honoring historical figures, family members, and community.

Ofrenda or Altar

While some visit the graves of loved ones, others build an ofrenda/offering, or altar, in their home or other gathering place. Many people have one in their homes right now they just don't use these terms. Its the place where you have a Beloved's picture and maybe a few cositas or mementos that remind you of them or maybe belonged to the person. You keep them as a daily visual reminder of your Beloved in a personal space.

You can also do this in public spaces. For example when Michael Jackson died many people put flowers and gifts in place to honor him, or roadside places where you see balloons or gifts. These can all be considered contemporary versions of the same. The terms are different but the bottom line is its a special space to honor/celebrate/remember a loved one. Dia de los Muertos just gives us a special day to share with others and have a celebration dedicated to them. Altars or places of remembrance are found in various places and can be created by anyone.

There are many ways to prepare to set up the space and this is just my Chicana Tejana way. There is no right or wrong way when it comes to honoring and celebrating a beloved. I like to use ways that elders taught me so I am sharing some of that with you. There are many different things that I do but I am just sharing the framework so to speak about the celebration. In my workshops we spend more time on the different ways to celebrate, historical and symbolic items and how to personalize the celebration for your comfort level. And we have fun making art.

The work is done in some cases in stages over a period of days when time and space allow. Creating the artwork, food, and gathering of all the special items can take all year long. For me its an ongoing process. I create an art quilt to serve as a backdrop for some of my altars and I often dedicate it to one specific group. Like those lost in the wars, hate crimes, HIV/AIDS, historical figures, and always a personal one at my home to honor friends and family.

Some believe that the Spirits of those who have gone on before come back to visit us on these two days. Others believe they are our Guides/Angels that are with us daily. Others believe that this is just symbolic and this is just a way to remember them. And still others believe a combination. The following information I share with you as it was told to me and it has elements of the above beliefs.

Traditional Three Levels Many Indigenous people believe in the 3 deaths:

• 1st the body ceases to function
• 2nd the body is returned to the earth; we all are a part of nature
• 3rd and final death when there is no one left to remember us

First Presbyterian Little Rock 2009 to honor Lucy transgender young woman

Using non scary Skeletons for the Ofrenda

• By remembering each year we cheat the final death; this is one reason the skeletons are smiling.
• Skeletons represent death and rebirth.
• Skeletons symbolize the “eternalness” of the soul or spirit of the deceased.
• Sugar skulls are reminders that memories are sweet!!!
• Most are depicted in artwork portraying activities and jobs that the deceased carried out while living.
• The popular images were created artist José Guadalupe Posada (1852-1913); Posada’s artwork often used the images to portray political satire.

La Catrina artquilt detail inspired by Posada's work

Personal Items

• New clothing and grooming products such as soap, washcloth, comb for the dead to refresh after the long journey back.
• Add photos of the one being honored.
• Capture the essence of the person or persons being honored; include personal items cooking utensils, tools, games, toys, sewing items and so on.
  

Altar to honor Gloria Anzaldua her photo and books she authored

Altars can share community and personal history
Remembering friends, family, and historical individuals keeps their stories and memories alive.It provides an opportunity for those who do not know about them or their work to learn about someone significant in your life or a period in history.

• Many marginalized communities create altars to share stories of civil rights leaders, community organizers, and others who made their mark but are not listed in school textbooks.
• Its also a way for the youngest to get to know those who came before in the family and gain a better understanding of the family.

Altar honoring Cesar Chavez, Farm worker Rights Activist and Corky Gonzales, Chicano Civil Rights Activist

Favorite Foods

• Fruits, favorite foods, and beverages of the deceased are prepared for the dead to feast on the aromas.
• The food is created and placed on the altar and stories are shared as is the food.
• Pan de muertos or bread of the dead is also created by bakeries or at home. Its a sweetened bread baked in round loaves or skull shapes.
  

Tradition of Salt and Water

• A glass of water to quench the thirst after the journey
• Salt is considered the spice of life; it is provided for the dead to spice up things because the sense of taste may be lacking since they have been gone

Papel picado (perforated or pricked paper)

• Indigenous people used paper in religious and healing rituals. Most of the 'papel picado' was made of paper called amate from fig or mulberry bark. You can find beautiful artwork produced on this paper.
• During French occupation of Mexico 'papel chino' or tissue paper was introduced; it continues to be the paper used most often for a traditional celebrations. The fusion of so many traditions has created contemporary versions of many cultural items (no doubt for mass production making it a dying art form, but don't get me started) and you can now purchase thin plastic versions of this paper. You can even have them cut with your Beloveds names.

Scents for the Ofrenda

• Sage can be used to cleanse the area before setting up the space.
• Copal incense burned to clear the path for spirits return; has a strong aroma to guide the spirits home.
• Scented candles sometimes with the Beloveds name on them.
• Marigolds and other flowers; Marigolds "the flower with 400 lives," were thought by the Aztec to symbolize death. It is believed that the scent of the petals forms a welcome path for the spirits to return to their altar or grave.
  

Night is falling and I need to get myself prepared for the final celebration tonight. I can already smell the sage and copal burning, the photos that tell all the stories are lit with candles and its time to celebrate. Time to remember the lessons they taught me, sing the songs we shared, tell the jokes that brought laughter, and most of all feel the love we shared. Blessings to you and your Beloveds this night.

GRACIAS!!! I hope you learned some things and even if you don't add them to your backpack maybe next time you see some one with a fancy for skulls or marigolds in November you might not be so quick to judge. Maybe you will remember this blog and how you tried on a new way of honoring and celebrating your loved ones. It might not fit and that's OK I appreciate that you read this far and tried it on! All we can do as humans is try to reach out and connect with one another, we have different ways of doing things and loving but its all about our human kindness. Lets not forget to be both, human and kind. Its in the attempt to understand that we can begin to build bridges. Just try it on and open your heart, the mind will follow.

Feliz Dia de los Muertos!

Sugar skull heavily embellished with sequins, beats, buttons and paint

Today and tomorrow I will share a bit about the holiday and some of my art since its one of the things I get the most questions about and my favorite holiday!

Disclaimer: I am going to share my experiences and tell it to you as it has been told to me. This in no way is meant to "represent" anyone but me and my beliefs so please don't take offense if it means something different to you or you have another way of celebrating. Its a personal celebration and each of us is a fusion of those that came before, there is no right or wrong way.

I am going to share with you bits from my community presentations. I present workshops as part of preserving and promoting cultural connections and cross cultural understanding where we discuss our interconnectedness, learn authentically about one another and make group altars and individual artwork to honor and celebrate loved ones. If you are interested in hosting one for next year send me and email.

And finally, this is not a holiday all Latinos celebrate, varies upon Spiritual background and current practices, country of origin or ancestors origin, region of country. When celebrated in US then varies depending on generation in US, indigenous connection, life experiences and choices and is not tied to anyone group in particular. OK now that's done a few more things and we get to the good stuff.

Dia de los Muertos/ Day of the Dead is NOT...

• the Mexican (btw not all of us that celebrate are Mexican) version of Halloween
• scary or morbid; there are no images of gory dead people, ghosts, or witches. It is a festive time.
• does not honor death or devils; the devil didn’t exist in ancient Mexico until the conversion or not to Christianity.
• is not a cult and has nothing to with cults.

When I look in the mirror I see my ancestors, self portrait

Dia de los Muertos/Day of the Dead IS...

• different by region and by degree of urbanization.
• a time for friends and family to remember those who are deceased.
• time to reflect upon our lives, our heritage, our ancestors and the meaning and purpose of our own existence.
• Celebrated November 1st where children are remembered and November 2nd for adults

Entourage detail

Different conception of Death
In Mexican culture there is a philosophical acceptance of death as an integral part of the cycle of life; death is just another phase of life itself. The ancient Mexicans philosophy and religion encompasses this duality in life and nature, life and death were linked in the journey from one world to the next. Instead of fearing death, it is embraced and considered a “moving-on” to a higher level of consciousness. Again this varies and is not a blanket statement but in my observations, research, and experiences this thought has been infused in various ways and manifests in different forms throughout generations. As a child I have fond memories of my Grandfather and Grandmother taking me on trips to the cemetery as if it were a park. Grandfather would say, lets go visit old friends and make new ones. I remember him reading headstones and telling me stories as we walked hand in hand under the trees, it was never scary just matter of fact and a part of what we will all experience, like all things part of nature.


Visiting the graves of loved ones when possible is very much a part of the celebration. Similar to towns in the US that celebrate Decoration Day or others who celebrate Memorial Day. Family members engage in sprucing up the gravesite and decorate with flowers. The may set out and enjoy a picnic, music, candles and storytelling and interact with other family and community members who gather there.

Houston, Tx 2009

Bits of history

• Celebrated since before the arrival of the Conquistadors in 1500 B.C.
• Concepts of death and afterlife existed in the Olmec, Toltec, Maya, and Aztec cultures.
• Special homage was designated to those warriors who died in battle, women who died during childbirth, children, and healers. It was believed they went to a special place where they enjoyed their afterlife. It was thought that their spirits returned to visit the living in the form of butterflies.
  Can this belief possibly coincide with the marvelous journey of millions of Monarch butterflies who return to Mexico, year after year, for more than a millennium? Many celebrate the Monarch as the return of these loved ones.

butterfly image

Tomorrow I will post on some of the traditional items, symbols and altar building...off to do the finishing touches on my home altar for this years celebration!