gifts shared

A teacher, Spiritual healer, and friend, left this Earth School to continue his journey recently. Bryant will be missed and the lessons he shared with us resonate in all we do. When someone leaves us to start the journey on the other side, we remember the little things about them. How they spoke, their pet peeves, and the stories, always the stories. Those gifts they gave us without knowing they were giving them, it was so natural for them to share.

When I was a child I played under the sewing machine of my mother and grandmother. As they worked on the latest matching dresses for me and my sister; they would toss bits of fabric, thread, and trims to the floor. Never realizing (or maybe they did and were just happy I was occupied) that as I sat below the machine, their discarded bits would fall on me like rain. I would take those bits and fashion them into magic works that would make me smile. I gathered only what called to me; as it is with my work today the materials lead the process. That's how it was with Bryant as with many teachers; they just toss around wisdom and its up to us to pick up what we see as the treasure we need in our life experiences. And then we fashion them into who we are and are becoming.

Gracias Bryant for the rebozos I wrap myself in; gracias for your treasures sometimes wrapped in a tough manner, but a treasure just the same for our Red Road journey.
tlazocamati Dios de bendiga

Storms bring growth

Cedar Falls AR

Cedar creek flowing fast toward the falls after many days of rain.

The days and nights have been filled with rain, storms, thunder, winds, lightening and now flooding. The heavens have been releasing and the atmosphere is filled with electricity. I have also been releasing. Some things I didn't want to let go of but the Universe has a way of flooding you and forcing you down stream whether you want to or not. I still cant swim but the muse of the water beckons so I go and just try not to let the current take me under. Its easy sometimes in transition to only focus on oneself and forget that there are others around you who may also feel the current.The atmosphere is charged and keeps me in the present moment instead of trying to relive the past. So after a visit to my favorite place in AR I washed myself in the water, drank in the sunshine, was blessed by the trees and had a talk with myself and the ancestors. Its in the surrender that the forgiveness and healing can begin. Going with the flow and staying present to what the Creator has around the bend can be frightening but also exhilarating. So now I don't fight the current but celebrate with each cleansing rainfall. I know I am growing just as the landscape around me is green with new growth and the promise of an amazing summer.

Bee aware

Well spring is here I know because my allergies are doing their thing. There are other signs of spring like rain every other day, and things are all shades of beautiful greens and colorful blooms are everywhere which means bees. For three days now, (three is a healing number) I have had unusual encounters with bees. The first suddenly appeared as if to fall from the sky. I was standing at the kitchen sink looking out my window and there it was; it fell in the sink right in front of me. Just buzzed a bit as it made a revolution and politely cooperated as I lifted it out with a towel and tossed it out the back door. I am usually open to signs especially those from nature so I thought about it a bit but quickly went back to my busy schedule. My job has been unusually busy, my community work is also moving fast right now, and not much time for art or a personal life. Good thing since I have received messages that I need to just be still in my personal life but that’s another post, back to the bees.

The second visit was when I sat down one evening at my computer. Within seconds of laying my hands across the keyboard a bee fell “from the sky” and landed on the desk within an inch of the keyboard. This one also made a turn, buzzed as he danced and cooperated when he left. By this time I had told a few of my beloveds about this and they each had their ideas: you need to bee still, you have been busy as a bee, do you have a bee in your bonnet, bee happy and so on. I laughed it off and think I don’t have time to listen to the message the Universe is sending me right now, hold that thought and when I have time I will get back to it. Take a message I’ll work that in my schedule in a few days; wrong thing to say to the Universe.

Day three of encounters of the bee kind. While sitting at the computer working when I should have been resting, oh I don’t like to should on myself but in hindsight that’s what I should have been doing. Anyway I’m concentrating so hard my shoulders are aching, my eyes scrunched and have added a few more wrinkles to my forehead. I’m deep in thought and determined to complete just one more work project so I can keep up and dare I think maybe get one step ahead. Then I hear this tiny buzzing sound. One of the gifts of being on the autistic spectrum is the ability to hear sounds most others miss. I usually just skim though the database of sounds in my head, identify it or relate it to another sound already identified, scan for any signs of danger, and then move on to whatever I am doing usually takes a few seconds. The buzzing sound began to grow, a few seconds later it registers; my database was moving slow that night. It’s a bee, another bee in the house, now what? I stop what I am doing although I am not so happy to do so and start to investigate the sound. It appears that this one is not going away so easy this time and the Universe is making sure I stop long enough to receive my message. It’s buzzing around the light fixture above my head and there is no way I can reach. It darts back and forth into the light but mostly around making sounds to be sure I hear. I close what I am doing on the computer and surrender to the message. I realize that I have let my priorities get out of sink. I need to listen when Creator sends a message. After all I have been asking for messages and when I get one I’m too busy? So I sit, close my eyes and say out loud yes. And then buzzing suddenly stops, I look up from my chair with a bit of apprehension, I don’t want to find a bee on my shoulder but it’s nowhere to be found. Just as suddenly as it appeared it was gone. I started to search and get distracted by the physical once again but quickly remembered it was not about the bee it was about a message. The bees had brought good medicine and it was time I received it.

Bees are the messengers that share the secrets of life, service to community, and communication. All bees are productive. They remain focused in their activities and goals. They also carry the power of service. As they move from one flower to another they remind us that all living things are interconnected. Their role is vital to the environment.

Bee may have come regarding family, coworkers or humanity. Bee medicine is reminding us to work within our community and do our part. Hard worker bee is dependent on the next bee each doing their part to aid the community to support the entire hive family.

Bees have perfected communication in order for the community to effortlessly do the work. Bee’s messages are about developing clear communication.

If your energy is like mine has been a bit scattered, the bee shows us that its time to refocus on the goals, be clear in communication, and work together for the Greater Good. When bee buzzes around you it may be asking you to follow its lead and in doing so you can arrive at the destination most appropriate for a new life awakening. Bees also remind us to slow down, gather our self, smell the roses, and taste the sweet nectar of life.

...each of us has our own entourage in life.

Gift for soon to arrive baby Daniel. His Mom had the panel and tia Sabrina put it all together for the nursery. I pieced the border since I couldn't find one that would work, hand quilted ocean currents, added buttons of animals and a little house button where their home is located. The border of buttons come from my collection from friends, family and strangers that would put little cigar boxes of them on my doorstep. They are made from all kinds of materials. Writer, Sandra Cisneros who has one of my works hanging over her writing computer said, the buttons are like little stories themselves, little prayers. I agree, I see them as good energy, blessings for the little one. The back has colorful frogs in honor of their love of the outdoors and a special place they call Frog Valley.

Working on this piece gave me lots of healing at a time when I have been struggling with my place in the Universe. Thinking about this new soul that would enter this Earth School and what lessons are ahead for him gave me healing and Light. I thought about all the people ready to welcome him and what my role might be in his life.

I thought about how each of us has our own entourage in life. Those who came before that watch over us, Spirit Guides, ancestors, angels, and then there are those who walk among us. Life moves fast and sometimes just knowing you have some one in your corner helps. Being human working on the Spirit is a challenge and I try to remember to treasure those that cross my path even if for a little while. We each share lessons and sometimes hardships but knowing that you have someone to talk to can make the bumps and scrapes a bit easier to bear. And when you get stuck its comforting to know that its OK to just wait and that sharing with someone can make the wait easier (thanks j).

So I thank my entourage for the gift of just being there, especially when I feel alone. I can feel the love and support when I am still and gather my strength to keep on moving. I ask that I might grow wiser and stronger so that I can do my part as entourage for others. Its in community however we define it that we find our strength, our potential and in our solitude we remember we are not alone and give thanks.

In a few months Daniel will join us. We welcome you with love, your entourage is waiting.

happy new year to me!

My tattoo: I create with thread and always with my Spirit Guide Red tail hawk watching. I sew together this passion filled flaming Chicana heart, patched with a design adapted from the ancestors Aztec body art patterns. tlazocamatiI

I see my birthday as a new beginning to my personal new year. An anniversary of my arrival this go around. On your birthday the sun returns to the exact position in the sky as it was the day you were born, its called the solar return and this can give you a great deal of insight on the upcoming year. Its a time to reexamine, evaluate, celebrate, and plan for growth and goals for the new year.

For me this one has been difficult getting to, lots of shedding in the physical, mental, and emotional landscape to unearth the new me. I feel raw and venerable but somehow ready to walk through this new path on my journey in this earth school and see what life holds for me next.

Like the raw materials in my studio I am going to pull out what feels right, put together the best fit, and work at it until I am pleased. I choose to no longer create what others expect, or think best for me, now as the artist I make the final decision and I have to please no one but myself. Its more process and less product for me but the creation for this new year is going to be one that I am happy to call mine. No matter what challenges or obstacles I know that the harder I work at my art the more connected to my Spirit I become. The more I like the end product and often fall in love with the my latest creation. So here I go with wings of hope. Here's to new beginnings!

new eyes

Each year I make heart shaped work to donate for Center for Artistic Revolution Inc., CAR's silent auction fundraiser. This year I was pressed for time and decided to revisit an old work that was, well it just was. I had previously done surgery on it to make a panel for another donation and what was left just called to be reinvented. One part of it had an image that appeared in the fabric, I just stitched around it so others could see what I see and so it found a home on one of the wooden heart bases. The second one had a section of layers of thread and shiny stuff covered in netting that I quilted down as flowing energy so that one was also born. I try to re purpose fabric from clothing or thrift stores so this time I gave an old work new life. Sometimes the work just doesn't end up the way you thought it should or could be and it has to marinate for awhile. Then going back to look at it in a different way lends itself to new possibilities.

Sometimes in life we toss out something or someone that appears to be no longer of interest, use or meaning in our life. Maybe the lesson here is to stop and take a second look, to see it with new eyes and how it might fit in our life without any of the past intentions or expectations. New beginnings and fresh starts, that's what spring is all about right? Hope you had a good Vernal (Spring) Equinox and that you find new beginnings and see through new eyes. After all isn't that what growing looks like?

spring...new beginnings...again

seasons change, people change, change means you have to change

life begins again...

Beautiful and cold ice water rushing down toward Cedar falls, Mt. Petite Jean AR