I changed my day job due to lack of grant funding and then this past summer I moved to full time artist. In the midst of all this I had 3 physical home moves in 3 years and one within a few months of the other. So the wind blew me to New Mexico and I am finally moving into my house and studio soon. Its still very surreal. And Im still waiting to catch up with myself.
It sounds magical and I wish I could feel it. Seems I am fighting major stress and meltdowns. Research says large changes cause stress and as an Autistic person stress is already a way of life; so for me its been a heavy load to carry. I am working hard to keep going. To have the joy of dreams come true, changing the direction of my career, and entering a new chapter of my life. It is overwhelming, exciting, and very challenging.
Underneath it all I knew I had to go back to center. As I stood on the edge ready to crash under the stress and uncertainty I somehow heard my soul calling me. I had to catch myself and its not always an easy task. So I stopped everything and took a vacation to my soul.
We drove through the mountains where you can let go and be reminded that you are part of a larger picture. Where the wind sounds like ocean waves. And if you look up at the right moment you can see the wave move through the trees on its way to wash over you.
Where each step you take is a journey back to who you know you are but somehow got lost in the grass. Got tangled in the dead leaves of the past.
And then you see your reflection in the lake. And begin to smile because even though the journey is challenging you see a glimmer of your stregnth.
And then there is the magical sound of moving water. Its always a healing sound for me. Water that doesn't stop and nothing can get in its way. The proof that it keeps going is evident as you hold the weathered stones and branches pushed along the shore. And you remember you that you too can keep on going.
And then you enter a magical place with a pool of emerald green. A place where you can feel the ancestors gather. You become aware of your breathing and heartbeat. And the stress, fear and anxiety begin to melt into the water like the snow on the banks.
And then the universe sends you a smile! (Yes I found this rock exactly like this with a natural carved face.) Then a deep breath and your soul smiles back and you know its all going to be ok.
New mantra: The universe is conspiring in my favor. And it is not mine to determine the how. Stay present, be thankful and open to receive.
Blessings, love and good energy for you on your journey. Take a moment and reconnect with your soul. Gracias Thank you Tlazocamati Ometeotl