Saturday, July 26, 2008

the journey

Te Busco

Feeling naked, venerable, you know that thing that happens when you realize you are not where you need to be, with who you need to be with, or don't have the skills to do what you think you want to do. When suddenly the Universe appears to be conspiring away from your favor instead of for you. I get this searching feeling, this nudging that tells me its time to move, and if I don't listen, my soul begins to suffocate. So no matter how painful, naked, venerable I feel I push myself to move on.

Searching can be daunting especially if you are not sure what it is you are looking for but know you have to find it. That unquenched thirst, that hunger that wont leave you. Its not something you have conscious control over and that's the challenging part. Trying to get out of your own way and the good intentions of others. Staying centered with a clear vision and then working to surrender to Spirit for guidance.

Then I find I am in a transitory moment when I think I have found: where I should be, who to be with , or what it is that needs to come out of my work , career, community or studio. Those are the times in my life when I land for a moment to learn a lesson, a new skill, make some great memories but if I tune in lingering in the distance is that voice. So I either decide to settle even though its getting harder to be myself or I get back on the road and try again. Hoping to find respite in the new adventure , skill set building, or personal challenge.

Maybe its the process that keeps calling, to keep us growing and open to learn lessons in this earth school. Maybe there is a final destination within reach and we only need to see it with our corazon . Or maybe the silence lies within both the journey and the destination.

Esperanza exists within my corazon so I work to remain open and love filled toward all who cross my path. I try to look for the lessons, share lessons learned, gain skills, and honor the evolution of self that presents. I pray for you to have a clear vision on your journey as well.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

slow down and bring it together

I've been making ready for new work to be born and inspiration is abundant. I sketch rough ideas when I can making notes from dreams, conversations, and music.This summer has brought with it many changes in my life personally and professionally. Like the Moon Mother Coyolxauhqui my many responsibilities have me in pieces; and I am working to bring them all together for the greater good. I hope to begin soon on an art piece in her honor.

My job has taken me into the classroom once again and listening to young children brings messages. Their voices speak the truth, not yet quite shut down to their Spirit. It shows in their art and conversations at play.They see the world and report to us like a mirror reflecting not only the good but the paths that may bring challenges. And for some, they speak of things ones so young should not have to carry.

It reminds me to stay in touch with nature, simple kindness, and how to reach out to one another at our most basic human level. We can get so caught up in the challenges of life that sometimes we forget that it can be powerful to slow down, be kind to self, laugh, play,and prepare to grow. Its healing to remember the freedom, creativity, and beauty in being all of who we are untouched by the colonization of our lives.

I am thankful for this time with the children. It has brought me many lessons; learning to be OK with my silence, to be open, and to value listening. Children bring messages and teach us lessons we may have forgotten. tlazocamati

Monday, July 07, 2008

The creative process and work

Other People's Clothes

I am happy to say that this work as also found a home in a wonderful activist family! This work speaks to those who use the sewing machine to routinely assemble clothing that many cant afford to purchase. They are often working in unsafe conditions.

For me the sewing machine is part of my creative journey and using it for work; not being able to freely create would be a painful process for me. There was a time when I had to supplement my income buy providing gift shops with several of the same item in various colors. It was difficult to find any joy in the process and I found that after a time the work began to show my lack of passion.

Fortunately for me I have found other ways to supplement and can keep the creative flow sacred. For me it truly is about the process and the healing it brings me. I hope to get to my clean studio soon to work. My shedding process is almost done and deadlines are fast approaching.